Thistle Cove Farm

Home & Homestead Living

Doctors, Nurses, Hospitals…OH MY!

by Sandra Bennett
TCF

~ morning at home ~
Since this journey has begun, Dave and I have picked up the jargon of hospitals, doctors and nurses. It’s been of great help as, quite often, it felt we were speaking different languages. I wouldn’t wish what Dave, nor I, have been through on my worst enemy and in the interest of self-preservation, I’m giving you some helps that have seen us through some dark days indeed.
In the South, we speak the Queen’s language, although she might not recognize it as such. It is though and the rest of the world, northern USA especially, speak something else at times, hardly recognizable. 

Let me know if this is of help to you and yours.

Southerner’s Medical Dictionary

Artery……….the study of paintings
Bacteria……….the back door to the cafeteria
Barium……….what doctors do when patients die
Benign……….what you be after you be eight
Caesarean Section……….searching for Kitty, Cauterize…..made eye contact with her
Colic……….a sheep dog
Coma……….a punctuation mark
Dilate……….to live long
Enema……….not a friend
Fester……….quicker than someone else
Fibula……….a small lie
Impotent……….distinguished, well known
Labour pain……….getting hurt at work
Medical Staff……….a doctor’s cane
Morbid……….a higher offer
Nitrates……….cheaper than day rates
Node……….I knew it
Outpatient……….a person who has fainted
Pelvis……….second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative……….a letter carrier
Recovery Room……….place to do upholstery
Rectum……….dagone near killed him
Secretion……….hiding something
Seizure……….Roman emperor
Tablet……….a small table
Terminal Illness……….getting sick at the airport
Tumor……….One plus one more
Urine……….opposite of you’re out

Someone sent the above via e-mail so I have no idea of the author; I’d love to know so they could be properly credited!


Blessings ~ Dave, out of hospital ~ home health nurses, PT, OT ~ home cooked food ~

Soli Deo Gloria,
Sandra

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Comments

  5. KathyB. says

    Laughter is very good medicine~ Ranks right up there with good home cooking and a glass of the best quality well water!Good to know you're home and ready to share a laugh or more with your blogging friends. Prayers for you both.

    Reply

  6. Pam says

    DH and I got quite a few chuckles from that Sandra, thanks. Probably would have sounded much funnier if I knew how to say it with the proper Southern accent instead of Strine!!! ;^D
    So pleased to hear you and Dave are back home where you belong, and need to be. xoxo

    Reply

  15. Anonymous says

    Happy to hear you and Dave are home and the thought of you cooking a meal in your own kitchen is a sweet one indeed. May God continue to bless you both and strengthen you. Sending prayers and love, Mildred

    Reply

  17. Penny says

    So happy you are home from the hospital!!

    Loved the glossary .. I can so relate. lol

    Angela and I traveled on a bus tour across the Smokey Mts. several years ago. We were talking amongst our selves and noticed 2 couples doing a bit of eavesdropping. They finally asked us what part of the South we were from .. Alabama or Georgia?? They were a bit shocked when we answered Southern Indiana. LOL

    Reply

  19. IM GIRL says

    Sandra,
    a little humor goes along way!!
    Thanks for sharing that..I am passing on to others I know who will need this information! LOL

    I also made your cobbler, in the pan, out of the pan that quick! Gone!

    Cheers!
    Kim

    Reply

  20. Deanna says

    hahahahaha
    luvd this!!!

    Having a sense of humor is a great gift from God!
    Laughin' on the prairie in Kansas,
    d

    PS
    no foolin'
    I said a prayer for you today

    Reply

  25. Marydon says

    G'morn Sandra ~
    I chuckle every time I see this. So glad you are home & hope things are settling for you both. You are constantly in our prayers, Sandra. I just get misty every time I think of you both … you have walked a heavy path. God bless …

    Hugs & love,
    Marydon

    Reply

  26. Kelly says

    I love your Southern Medical Dictionary. I had to really listen and think to translate when I moved up north. Now I am an official translater of Southern English when needed. Glad you two are home. Much Love and Prayers coming your way. Thank heavens God understands all dialects.

    Reply

  27. Country Wings in Phoenix says

    Good Morning Sweetie…
    This is so stinkin cute. I love it. Pelvis really caught me. I am so laughing and smiling this morning. Thank you for the humor, it is to cute for words.

    Happy to hear that Dave is out of the hospital though and maybe your family will get back to normal soon. I see a little PT is in store and some home health nurses. Keep us posted. That home cooked food will have him back in the saddle so to speak, in no time at all.

    Many hugs sweetie. Prayers for the family. Country hugs, Sherry

    Reply

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