*my cup today…
It’s only the end of February and I’m ready to kick 2020 to the curb. There are several reasons, not the least of which, I’m starting the post again as it disappeared the first time. This year began softly, luring me into a sense of calm but then came the maelstroms. Yes, plural.
I am struggling to believe*
A friend of forty years had a Grandmother who was Brethren and I’ve always loved the Anabaptist. Their ways suit me and, in a world growing increasingly more insane, I strive for a simpler lifestyle. The Anabaptist include Mennonite, Brethren, Hutterite, Bruderhof and Amish, all who follow similar tenants. They are Bible believing Christians who take care of their own, mind their own business, own their own businesses, usually have a large family and worship several times weekly.
*Pixie, Hattie,  Bones, Inky*
For decades my parents have been connected with the Mennonite community in central Virginia so when the Mennonites came to southwest Virginia to establish a church, it was no coincidence we connected. When I asked the Pastor, “I don’t want to be a Mennonite, I’m just a Christian but I’d like to worship with you”, he thrust his hand toward me and said, “Welcome! We’d love to have you.” There are only a few things where we are in disagreement…they offer Communion only to their members is the primary and I’m not a big fan of the women’s dresses. Some women might find this odd but Dave liked seeing me in clothes from Orvis and J. Peterman and I was happy with his choices which, to my mind, were far more attractive (smile). Mennonites don’t vote nor serve in the military and as a strong supporter of our military (my 9th Grandfather served with George Washington), I believe voting and military service are the rent we pay for the privilege of living in the USA.
Around the middle of last month, I received word of a young Mennonite woman who’d been kidnapped in New Mexico. Saturday past, I received word her body was found in Arizona, about 275 miles away. I’ve always had a heart for trafficked children and women and this hit hard. For the past four weeks, God has awakened me in the 0:dark thirty hours to pray, weep, intercede for this woman and the father of lies would whisper, “God might be there but He’s not listening to you.” There were nights and days I questioned if my prayers were going past the ceiling but I told God, “You have a plan to work for Your glory and I choose to trust You.”
What do you do when you feel the same way?
To obey is better than sacrifice so I kept praying one of the prayers that never fail: Thy will be done. (The other prayer that never fails is, “Jesus, I choose to believe you died for my sins and I give you my life”.)
Knowing is better than not knowing especially as there are far, far worse things than death, especially for a Christian believer. I have no platitudes but am grateful she can be given a burial, her parents, family, friends, community can have some sort of peace and somehow, someway God has a plan. Saturday night I didn’t wake to pray and sleep was, relatively, restful.
*Tumbles, HayJ, Dandy*
Sunday morning, early, the phone rang and it was Mom, “The house is flooded, can you come?” Of course I said yes, I would be there as soon as I hurried through barn chores but when I got to the barn, my big, beautiful, black and white HayJ was down and couldn’t get up. I called Ronnie, asked if he could come and he hurried to find a temp replacement at work; then I called Joe, then I went to Brandon’s house and asked if he could come. A year ago November, Ronnie put down my old mare Peaches but it’s a desperately hard thing to ask of someone and I would only ask it of a hunter. They know to end suffering is the last, and perhaps greatest, gift.
*HayJ*
So, goodbye’s were said, the deed was done and another chapter of life slips away.
The Lord gives and the Lord takes away,
blessed be the name of the Lord.
The rest of the day was spent at parents and, along with my sister and her son, doing what we could to alleviate the situation. ServePro was called, they came and stabilized the situation but five rooms are ruined and parents will move into an RV while renovation is being done which will take at least two months. It’s a huge problem, not an issue, a huge problem but, God has a plan and I choose to trust Him.
Frankly, at this point in time, I think my parents and I look absolutely stunned. There’s no better word except, perhaps, shell shocked. When Dave and I lived in the Appy Mtns, we had hot water pipes burst and it was horrible! After his death, it happened again and God alone knows how I managed; it’s still a blur. I won’t bore you with the rest of “life happens” but I’m muddling along as best I can and if you’re a praying to Lord God Jehovah person then your prayers are appreciated. I’ve been staying close to home, other than going to parents or to grocery store; the other animals still need care, as I do myself. I do realize, and know, folks far worse off than my mess but until I can get myself straight, I’m of little use to anyone.
God has a plan, I choose to trust Him.
Oh, Sandra, I’m sorry about the many tribulations in one week’s time. Our sermon this morning was on the crisis or crises the world is in — and then there are the personal afflictions and disasters. I’m so glad your parents have you and others to help them; it helps you, too, to be able to participate in their affliction by your work.
Your saying that you are staying close to home reminds me of times when I am just worn out from dealing with the sorrow of the world, or mentally exhausted, unable to pray, except that very real, “Help my unbelief!” and just plain, “Help, Lord!” I used to think of my withdrawing as necessary so that I could “strengthen the things that remain,” though I was probably taking that line out of context. You are right, you can’t keep being stretched indefinitely, and at some point you need rest and quiet in order to process or debrief or whatever it is we do. You don’t want to get so worn out that you crash and become the one needing rescuing.
I’m glad you still have animals to take care of! They keep it real.
Gretchen, thank you so much! It seems it’s been a year and we’re only into the third month. Like Dewena said, I don’t tell all as there’s no need for anyone else to be despondent. lol atmyself.
Sandra dear, I’m so sorry that all of these things have happened, plus more that I think you aren’t even telling us about. Sometimes the little things get us down more than the larger ones but in this case you’ve had some backbreaking and spirit breaking ones threatening. The dear young woman, I can’t even bear to think about it. I never thought there would be a day that I would constantly pray for the safety of loved ones from that very possibility. I have to restrain myself from being the crazy lady who tags all her family every time I see another warning situation happening to someone on FB but I want to tell them to hold onto their kids and not let them out of their sights when out shopping and so forth.
Your dear HayJ, how that must hurt. My heart goes out to your parents because I know how much harder this flooding must be on them even though they have the wonderful help of their family. I remember how devastating and ongoing was the trouble when your last flooding happened. These things can age you terribly even when your faith in God’s plan never wavers.
Your prayers that never fail are bedrock. There have been a few times in life when I was reduced to simply praying “Help!” My dear 95 year old mother recently went to her heavenly home and while not unexpected it was still like a sucker punch to the gut with a surprising sense of loss hitting me and my three sisters.
I’ll pray for you and your parents, Sandra.
Oh Dewena…I hadn’t heard about your dear mother; I am so very sorry! As to being “that crazy woman”…I’m there. It seems God delights in waking me at 3 a.m. so I can panic pray and then, as I calm, simply pray. Dewena, there are so many in need of God and prayer…a friend’s son being bullied and I KNOW it’s spiritual warfare. Last year he made the decision to publicly express his faith and joined church. Another friend’s son is rebelling…these are Christian homes and the stress is overwhelming. I used to think children on leash’s was awful, now I wonder if they can be padlocked. When someone tells me they’re taking their children to Disney, I cringe. It’s a pedophile’s dream and the number of children who are snatched annually defies imagination.
The only thing I can do is pray…like you, sometimes simply HELP. Decades ago, a simple prayer “GOD, HELP!” saved my life (well, that and jumping out of a second story window) and, without a doubt, God always hears! Always, always pray. He hears.
You and your sisters are in my prayers during this difficult time; I simply cannot imagine your loss. May God hold you close.
Of course I will pray for you and yours, Sandra!
Vicky, thank you. BTW, for some reason your blog posts aren’t showing in my read file so I just did a search for “monkey wrangler”. OH MY!
Oh my Sandra. May God continue to sustain and uphold you as you work through these afflictions. Praying for you and your parents, too.
Ellen, thank you. It’s been a hellish short week and my parents don’t expect to be back in their house for a couple of months. They are handling it very well but it’s still extremely hard on them.
You know we’re praying for you here, far away across the dark and stormy seas. Praying with great love and great gratitude for you, strong warrior. This time last year, all I could pray was, in a lesser version of the centurion, forgive my unbelief. it was your gift of that first prayer journal that set me back on a better path. I love, love, love Samuel’s Ebenezer: thus far has the Lord helped us. Apparently the ezer part of that word refers to God, the helper. Courage x
Yes, Mags, and the thought of being tucked in prayer is both blessing and gift.
Someone once told me he had the gift of faith; I never realized it was a gift.
I thought it was blind doggedness by choice. I’m still not sure which it is but
in the midst of life, there’s death but there’s also choice.
I choose to trust God.
For some reason your “Samuel’s Ebenezer” reminds me of Elijah and the ravens.
Sometimes what the Lord requires of us is to rest and eat so He can prepare
us for our part in His plans.
If I remember (haha), I’ll take a photo of the Ebenezer stones at the farm
sign at the driveway. Every time I turn into the driveway, they are a
reminder to thank God, my Helper.
Just revisiting this post. Here we all are in March and who knows what water will flow under our bridges before the year’s end. He knows.
Heck, I haven’t any idea of what will happen today!
Oh Sandra, it seems that more of us are having more PILED on us; I think it is the “testing time” for the final troubles of this ol’ world. Your witness is true; we must keep trusting. “There IS a better land, far, far away….” Either all will be made plain there, or we will no longer care about the questions. Hang in there; hang on!
Michelle, I’ve never been one to cry “last days” but…I wonder.
You and yours remain on my prayer list, actually, it’s a prayer
three ring binder and most everyone who has ever commented on my
blog is in it. But especially those who’ve asked to be included.
It’s so “funny”…when Saturday rolls around, I almost always tuck
you in prayer…it’s my cue. <>< Other times, when my book is opened.
I appreciate your prayers, and keep you in mine. I see the devil working especially hard on young people like my son; the internet and it’s “fingertip availability” bring so many more distractions and temptations than ever before.
Michelle, a teacher said (can’t remember where so don’t ask…haha) when he checked his
student’s mobile phones, he was always dismayed and astonished. His question was, “Why
are parents monitoring their children’s mobile phones?”
Great question, good teacher.
Trust me, we’ve done our best to monitor what he can do and when (and still take away his phone for the night, much to his disgust), but any expert will tell you that a smart, tech-savvy kid can find ways around blocks and restrictions. Oh, and Brian’s Christian school has a “we see it and you lose it” policy during school hours.
All good things but I still can only imagine how difficult your household is right now! The world is terribly frightening and young people scoff at that idea. Saturday, I received word the body of the young Mennonite woman’s (kidnapped mid-January)was found 275 miles away. The knowing is better than the nightmare of not knowing but still…the agony her family, friends, church have endured. It is *that* nightmare we want to save our young folks. Michelle, it’s been a hellish long week but you and yours remain on the prayer list.
It seems as though blow after blow is hammering down. Thankfully we know as Christians that He is with us through the darkest times, but that doesnt always make it feel better.
I dont know if you keep up with UK news, but flooding is terrible in the Northern and mid parts of the country. People are being rescued from their homes by the dozen and many may never be abe to go back as their homes are ruined. We watch the BBC news in horror, and pray for not only the house owners but for the rescuers also.
So sorry avout your lovley horse.
Elizabeth, I didn’t know about the flooding in the UK; there is so much
flooding in the US as well. Where I used to live, a national disaster.
It’s enough to make one weep. I’m going now to look at UK news and will
pray.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-51653246
this shows so much of what is happenig here, it is terrible.
Barbara, thank you for this link; I’ve shared on FB and asked for prayers.
Oh yeah. The enemy seems to like to send things in bunches to keep you pinned down in your foxhole. I’ll be praying for you. The world is full of evil, and as we get older more people in our lives pass on, need help, and it seems we’re more and more spread out across the map so help is hard to give. Going through some of that myself, but I usually don’t blog about it because my step-dad and son, who are the main ones I’m concerned about right now, both read my blog. Ha ha. Makes it difficult to share.
I’m attracted to the Anabaptist type of life, too. Though, like you, I don’t go for everything they believe. I’m all for communal living and taking care of each other. Just can’t get anyone else to go along with it, lol.
God bless. Keep on trusting in Jesus. I know you will. 🙂
Love and hugs from Lisa
and who else is there, save God?
thank you, Lisa, prayers greatly appreciated.