Today is Gina’s birthday and her present was mailed earlier in the week but I called her this morning to say happy birthday and then chin wag. During the course of conversation we started talking about “self-care”…as in what are you doing FUN for your birthday. Her answer is just about everyone’s answer…laundry (housework, clean the car, etc.) but we’re (she and her husband) are going out for supper.
Gina is about the fifth or sixth person woman I’ve spoken to recently (myself included) who isn’t taking care of her. We’re taking care of husband, children, parent, work, household, animals, farm…but not ourselves.
WOMEN: what is wrong with us?!
Self care is not sel-fish; it’s necessary and the busier we are, the more necessary self care is for our well being. Most women I know have a high discomfort tolerance and were we to take one of those written stress tests -the ones where you get X number of points for each “thing”- we’d be off the chart! I’ve only done one of those type stress tests and scored around 800; which was enough to cure me of ever taking another one. I mean, who needs stress confirmed, right? It only adds to the stress! (haha)
“So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun.” ~ Ecclesiastes 8:15 ~
Here are some suggestions for self care; all cost time which equals money, some cost time and money and others are free. I started my self care last month with a Tibetan salt rock massage and it was lovely. I was asked, “Do you feel relaxed” and my answer astonished me! “No, I feel calm” and, even better, my shoulders weren’t hunched up around my ears. Okay, maybe not hunched that far but I’ve always carried stress and worry in my shoulders and it feels amazing to not have that nagging sense of discomfort! So amazing I’ve decided to have another massage this month and, sometime this year, I’m visiting American’s oldest spa, Berkeley Springs, WV. Staying in the state park and visiting their waters isn’t as expensive as staying at a spa B&B but the State Park is undergoing renovations and won’t open until June.
In Go Soak Your Head I wrote about the Jefferson Pools (named after Thomas Jefferson because he frequented them) in Bath County, VA. Unfortunately, those pools are closed because the buildings are no longer safe and the owner (who also owns the Homestead) doesn’t appear to want to do any upkeep whatsoever. An absolute travesty as the pools are part of American history…but I digress.
Back to self-care; for those who say, “I don’t have time”, I refer you to Susanna Wesley who had NINETEEN children! When she wanted to have quiet time with the Lord, she’d sit in her chair, pull her apron up and over her face and head and the children knew not to disturb her. If you don’t have 19 children, you’ve got time for yourself. -lol-.
*Give yourself a manicure: trim your nails then file them then use whatever oil you’ve got on hand…vitamin e, vegetable, corn, olive, lavender, strawberry… it doesn’t really matter but warm the oil and gently rub it into your hands using the right to massage the left and vice versa. Our hands take a beating, treat them with TLC (tender loving care).
*An Epsom salt bath is not only restorative but it makes ole bones feel like new! A bit of research says Epsom salts won’t hurt plumbing nor do damage to a septic system but, to be on the safe side, I don’t use them daily. Research varies (due primarily, I think, to its being funded by Big Pharm) but I believe magnesium (primary ingredient in Epsom salt) helps with aching bones, sleep, stress, constipation (mixed in water and drunk), reduces fibromyalgia symptoms and, good news, Epsom salt is very inexpensive and comes in plain, lavender, charcoal, chamomile, and eucalyptus.
*Take a walk with no real destination. Just…walk by yourself with no companion, animals and don’t walk in a place where you’re sure to meet someone you know and be forced to have a conversation. The entire purpose of this walk is to be alone with yourself for company.
*Eat as healthfully as possible (preaching to the choir here…).
*Keep a blessings and/or compliment file. When someone gives you a compliment, no matter how “small”, write it down so you can hold it as a talisman against the dreary days. Same with a blessings file: you are blessed to be a blessing so I’ll start you with: hot water, new toothbrush, a favorite mug. a deep breath, a new pen, a clean pad of paper/journal.
What are your most cherished blessings?
*Do 4-square breathing; sit or stand up straight and breath in to the count of 4, hold for a count of 4, breath out for a count of 4 and hold for a count of 4. Do this several times and you’ll feel slightly dizzy because you’ll be totally oxygenated and your body will love you! It’s also good for your brain.
*S T R E T C H tall then twist to the right, then to the left. Listen to your body as the kinks are worked out. snap, crackle, pop…
*Play a favorite song and MOVE for those few minutes; do this ten minutes a day and, eventually, you’ll look and feel amazing. (I’ve started doing this, want to join me?)
*Every day, for 15 minutes, sit with your face in the sun. Have as much of your skin as possible exposed to the sun; soak up that vitamin D. Most of us don’t get enough vitamin D (I take an extra capsule of 10,000 mg of vitamin D daily).
Have a swing with Sam P. Spade, Secret Agent
*Watch a silly movie or video and LAUGH!
*Be intentional with your time. Make careful choices about who you spend your time with and if someone isn’t uplifting, encouraging, or simply kind then walk away. People are either givers or takers; generally speaking, givers find it difficult to take and takers find it difficult to give. Severely limit your exposure to takers, negative people, pessimists and others who aren’t good for and to you.
*Become the friend you’ve always wanted; you’ll always be in good company!
*Ask for help; there’s no shame in asking for help and if there’s anyone else in your household, give a thought as to training them to help. Especially if they’re children.
*Taking care of yourself means you too.
Those are my few suggestions; what are your favorite ways to lovingly care for yourself?
Love the compliments/blessings file! I had one of those when I was teaching. All those notes we get from parents and students…the ones we don’t get very often! I would read them when I was feeling down. Loved that. I think now that I’ve made a career change, I need to start a new file. All my compliments/blessings are digital now, so I think I may need to jot them down somewhere. Thanks for the post!
Somewhere, I still have the notes the children gave me in Sunday School some 25 years ago. That was one of the first things we did…write our names at the top of a piece of paper, then passed it around to each other and wrote nice things to each other.
I’m not a fan of digital…as a matter of fact, I JUST realized there are a bunch of comments needed replies! I though WP was
supposed to send notification when we got a comment…??? I’m low tech, still use paper and GASP a fountain pen. LOL
I LOVE Sam P. Spade, he looks like a great swing buddy! I also firmly believe magnesium is a wonder drug, but it’s not expensive enough for big pharma to support (sorry, don’t get me on my soap box about THAT!) My hubby was always having muscle cramps in his legs and I started him on magnesium once a day. He hasn’t had a muscle cramp in more than a year. I find it more effective for sore muscles after exercise than either Tylenol or Advil as well.
Sam P. Spade is my buddy and move over, woman, make room on that soap box! Thank you for the reminder to take my magnesium; it’s been a cold, rough week and my body aches from both cold and farm chores.
This list is GREAT!! It makes me want think outside the box for self care. I’ve learned that for me, meditation helps my shoulders move away from my ears! I love the calm feeling!! I wish I knew these “secrets” when I was younger, but I’m happy that self care seems to be getting more attention lately- especially from women! Great (and fun) article!!!
Hi Lisa, THERE’S A BOX???? When I was younger, I didn’t need these tips; the young body functioned much better than this old body.
I love, love, love all of your suggestions. We do forget sometimes that if we’re not functioning at our best, our loved ones will suffer for it, I tell my people all the time, “take care of yourself, so that you can take care of others!”. It’s not selfish-it’s necessary. Great post!
Oh Vanessa, We are blessed to be a blessing and that goes for self care as well. Thank you bunches.
What a wonderful reminder! We all need to care for ourselves, but how many of us truly do that? And I love all of your suggestions. I’m getting out the epsom salts now!
Not me, Wendy; around here, it’s a case of “Physician, heal thyself!” I’m trying to do better and as my dearly departed husband told me, “Yes, you certainly are trying!”
So very true! I work 60+ hours a week before getting to think about blogging or wifing, so I know how hard the self-care thing is! I try to make a point to get a spa pedicure every month…the budget may force me to learn to do it myself, though! I do LOVE someone else rubbing my feet…
Oh dear Hannah! Bless your heart, working 60+ hours; it sounds brutal! I did get a massage earlier this week and it was w.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l!
What a wonderful message! Loved every word and will read over and over again. Thank you!
Have a blessed weekend!
Nancy
Nancy, as the old saying goes, “Even a blind hog finds an acorn ever now and again!” Sometimes I manage to hit the nail on the head. LOL
Very wise words!
Susie, thank you; it was great visiting with you today.
Lots of great suggestions here. A very Happy 2019 to you!
A bushel of happiness to you and yours, Ellen; we are blessed to be a blessing.
Thanks, Sandra! That is excellent advice. It’s so hard to rip my mind and focus off of my children and think about my own care – especially emotional care.
Different seasons of life and different journeys, Mary Kathryn, mean we’re all at sixes and sevens. I believe in taking care of myself but I so rarely take the time.
Different seasons of life and different journeys, Mary Kathryn, mean we’re all at sixes and sevens. I believe in taking care of myself but I so rarely take the time.
Lots of good suggestions; few if any are new but we all need reminding. Yes, self-care is difficult to fit in while being a wife and mother, especially if the others in the household imply or state that when you do so you are being (insert negative adjective here).
The old adage “there’s nothing new under the sun” still holds true.
I’m appalled at the lack of respect people show each other, especially
while living in the same house/home. What is more staggering is when
folks say they are Christians. If they are Christians, why aren’t they
walking the walk? Any ole jackass can talk the talk. But, to use
another Bible verse…God will not be mocked and I’m thinking this
includes people claiming to know Him when they don’t.
Michelle, you’re in my prayers.
Think I need to print this out. Thank you for these very timely reminders. It’s too easy to just go on going on, and forget that one simply runs out of steam.
Barbara, when we’re caregivers it’s far too easy to let the care slip when it comes to us. When I was tending to Dave (during his days of treatment) I was usually too exhausted to care for myself. After Dave, the animals, the farm, the house self care was sitting in a chair, thinking about what else needed to be done. All too well I know.
Write this compliment down, dear Sandra–thank you, you wise woman who is so generous to share this with us, taking the time to pull it together and write from experience and give us of the best of your gleanings, not just today but always! I’m pulling this off on my desktop to read again and again and follow through on my resolve to take better care of me in 2019–what? five days of January have gone by and I don’t think I’ve done one of the things yet that I meant to?
If I read this daily maybe I will treat myself to a few and then a few more. You’re a gem in my life, Sandra!
Thank you for the compliment Dewena; even now I find self care to be last, if at all. The struggle is real, that’s why the massage was so wonderful.