Everywhere I go (feed store, library, post office, church) people ask, “Can you believe it’s already the end of August?” My answer is, “I can’t believe I’ve lived, actuarially, two-thirds of my life much less it being the end of August already.”
Perhaps it’s due to the ennui of Autumn’s fast approach…Dave always said my blog posts had a bit of ennui to them and while that’s probably even more true since his death, I’m still not sure I agree with him. These past almost five years, I’ve lived in Dave’s shade and not his shadow and have learned contentment. The struggle has been real but I’ve learned to make a life out of what I now have and not what I’m missing. I’m allowing, even encouraging, myself to be myself and know how to be quiet and listen for God’s whisper although that’s fairly easy since I don’t have the intrusive noise of radio or television. If I do listen to either, it’s XM preachers or DVD’s that are of my choosing and not what subscription throws at me and calls “entertainment”. I chose to give up subscription television because I object to porn coming into this house. Yes, I do know I can change the channels but I was tired of having porn thrust upon me when channel surfing. It’s a small way I can honor God and myself. I’m too important in His eyes, and my own, to see anyone devalued for the sake of a cheap laugh or ‘filthy lucre’.
(Marti sent the above to me, it arrived at a much needed time and I am grateful she heeded God’s whisper. If I knew whom to credit, I would be delighted.)
Perhaps the bittersweet, but not ennui, is due to the aches and pains of bones, joints and muscles that receive hard use even though they protest…or perhaps it’s due to the skeins of Canada geese that have returned.
I know I’ve lived in one spot for a long time when the geese voices tell me they are coming in for a meal or when they are gathering strength to fly to the nearby pond. I know I’ve lived in one spot for a long time when I glance at the clock and know to grab my camera because the geese are due any minute.
The days are languid, still full of heat but the dark hours before dawn have a chill that say winter is hard pushing autumn who urges summer to pack and leave. Garden weeds are taller than me and, once again, my ambitions have exceeded my abilities. Heck, I can’t even remember to go to any of the farmers’ markets that dot the landscape and am lost among all the work. A glance tells me the hay bales are lined against the fence, waiting pick up and there are bales under storage being kept dry against the weather for my beasties when pasture wanes and snowballs fly.
I cry a lot these days but it’s out of happiness, or at least contentment. How can I be homesick for heaven when I live here? If I won the lottery, I’d keep this place, hire an on-site farm manager and spend winters near my family and summers here. Then again, as someone told me, in order to win the lottery, I must buy a ticket. There’s always a catch, isn’t there? -wry smile-
The apple tree is loaded and promises pies, cakes, butter and out of hand eating but only after a hard frost. That’s when the apples are sweetest, that’s when they release their best. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water.” I say it’s like a Christian…when God allows trials and troubles, He, and we, find out what we’re made of. We can either turn to Him or away from Him; it’s always our choice but, sometimes, people forget it’s not about the here and now, it’s about the hereafter. Just recently I said privately to Becky, a blog reader, “Christians haven’t any idea what the Bible says about anything; therefore, they’ll believe anyone and then say, “In my opinion…”. AS IF a Christian has an opinon…WRONG! Christians are to have a Biblical world view…so…what does the BIBLE SAY? THAT’S what a Christian believes…what the Bible says. If we think we won’t have to stand before God and answer for every word, thought, deed, vote…we’re in for a very unpleasant surprise. We’re so consumed with the here and now, we’ve forgotten about the hereafter. Because we only see the here and now, we can’t envision the hereafter and that’s so sad. The Lord God who created Creation has such enormous, glorious plans for us and we sit here, quibbling over non-essentials.”
Similar to the old song about if you want to have roses, you put up with thorns, at Thistle Cove Farm thistles comes with thorns and a wild, regenerate beauty that promises “beautiful one day and perfect the next”. In response to a six year old girl’s dream, God gave me Thistle Cove Farm. He has allowed me to be a steward here; He has grown me into a woman with vision; a vision that doesn’t end here but will continue where He wills both while there’s breath in my body, then into eternity.
God doesn’t abandon His plans, and His plans for all His children who accept Him are plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future.
Ponder this ~ “I am not afraid. I was born to do this. ~ Joan of Arc ~ “
What were you born to do?
Fat Dormouse says
Thank You.
Lisa Richards says
Amen!
Val says
I have come back to this post three times and have been hoping to think of something more "worthwhile" to say-in response and am still coming up a bit blank–I just want to say that I'm proud of you, Dave is surely proud of you, and I'm glad you're finding some peace and contentment. A friend once told me I was "the happiest sad person [he'd] ever met," –wry smile from ME too now!–so I relate to the bittersweet in this post. We do the best we can, we try to be the best we can be. . . .You're doing so well, Sandra. ♥
Tara Dillard says
Yesterday, coming inside from a full day with Beloved, working our tiny farm, 'improvements', I thought of you, wishing I had your myriad knowledges. Spelling on purpose.
Have you read Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady? If not I will send it to you.
You are already writing your book, with photography too. And, I want to buy it. G*d threaded thru its entirety, your farm thru the year, the land, the animals, the weather, the fruit, herbs, vegetables, you. Dave too. Loss, gain, joy, sorrow…..
Garden & Be Well, XO T
Leigh says
"These past almost five years, I've lived in Dave's shade and not his shadow and have learned contentment. The struggle has been real but I've learned to make a life out of what I now have and not what I'm missing." Sandra, that is absolutely priceless. It's a beautiful life motto.
What was I born to do? Nothing profound or magnificent in the world's eyes. Certainly not to live the way the world wants us to. I've been slowly trying to extract myself from the world system, even though it won't let you. Trying to be content with less. Most especially trying to develop the gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the eyes of God. I have a long way to go.
Anita Johnson says
Now I read the wonderful comments…..and I see you witnessing your faith. Your post is a beautiful read.
Karen Ann says
beautiful post, Sandra. And you just taught me something about apples…
Kimberly~Nutbrown Cottage says
Beautifully put, my dear. You are a wise woman. Keep listening to the Lord and sharing what He gives you. ((hug))
magsmcc says
Such beautiful, and fortifying, words. Such beautiful and fortifying truths. Despite the (occasional) sunshine, August always sneaks in the nip of September here. I love it! Autumn so much less work than summer, in my opinion- wink x
MISS PEACH ~(^.^)~ says
your words are a tonic for the weary soul…beautiful as an autumn evening…soothing as a cuppa tea…comforting as a lingering memory.
Thank you my sweet friend, Karla
Heritage Hall says
Because you have been there and done that, dear Sandra, I am always
alerted to the wisdom and truth of your words. Your Sabbath offerings
are a balm to one's spirit and I thank you. I found myself agreeing
so with today's entry…. His own are being tested in this chaotic time and we must dedicate ourselves to Him and to each other to be steadfast in His principles and Will, holding on to His promises.
You are a wondrous soul who shares her faith with generosity of spirit. Bless you.
Sherry says
this post is one of my very favorites
of yours .. ever. ♥
Lady Jane says
When I grow up I want to be just like you. Hugs, LJ
Down On The Farm says
Amen and amen sister. Our opinion matters not one bit. The Word of the Lord is our guide. His opinion is the only one that counts. Thank you thank you for preaching the truth in love. Blessings from Missouri!
Lynne says
The geese "fly in" must be a "made my day" moment . . .
Worthy of praise indeed . . .
Picture perfect . . .
Dewena says
The " plans to give us hope and a future" has been my daughter's life verse forever.
Sandra, this post went straight to my heart on so many levels but I wrote down your: "make a life out of what I now have and not what I'm missing." Tears are welling because that's what I know I must do, not exactly what I want to do. I've been trying to the last month because June and July were months of me fighting against that very thing. Or rather it wasn't so much a case of fighting but more of the dreaded ennui that Dave spoke of, although I cannot imagine that ever of you.
This post has blessed me, Sandra.
Best always to you,
Dewena
Pat S. in Lebanon says
Thank you for such wonderful words of wisdom…a great way to start my day.
Praying that God continues (and I know that he will) to carry you through the rough spots in your daily life.
Nancy McCarroll says
You have gorgeous pictures. Love the one of the geese.
Straighten that crow and keep on writing and showing God's magnificence through your lists, Sandra.
Van@Luxuria says
I just found you blog via Splenderosa's blog. OMG!! What a beautiful and heartfelt post. I just had to re-read it immediately. You have such a beautifully soothing way of writing xx
Pam R. says
Beautifully written and so much truth!
FlowerLady Lorraine says
What a wonderfully encouraging and uplifting post dear Sandra.
I am so happy to be a daughter of the King.
Love, hugs & prayers ~ FlowerLady
Pom Pom says
He's got you covered, friend.
Quinn says
I'm too tired tonight to write more than a quick word, but my first thought was, "Maybe I'm the caretaker you'll hire to look after the place while you're on your travels" 🙂
Take care, Sandra – you've got it all worked out in your heart and mind, and that's what matters most I think.
Anita Johnson says
Wow…I will read this again….I found myself nodding my head over and over…especially about yucky stuff coming into my house. I have used my illness as a time to get to know the word of God better. I really like Alistair Begg. I'll send you one of his sermons by email. Try it. He is a very sound biblical pastor….I've learned a lot.
GretchenJoanna says
I don't have the same work load that you do, but I am like you in this: "once again, my ambitions have exceeded my abilities"… It's a daily realization…but I am glad for every idea that I do manage to bring to fruition. It's kind of God to give us so many sweet and contented moments while we are waiting for Him to bring us along to that "Jordan River crossing."
Mary Quesenberry says
You know the Lord and his word. I am proud to be your friend.
Mary Quesenberry says
You know the Lord and his word. I am proud to be your friend.