I’m feeling quite irascible so read at your own risk and with tongue planted firmly in cheek.
I had a business meeting today and it was a great learning experience. I learned a lot about the coal industry and how the current administration and other nut jobs Al Gore have been riding a dead horse re. the environment. I mean, who can blame Al, right? He’s come from a paltry $1.7 million to a net worth around $200 million; apparently dirty environment pays veddy, veddy well and he’s hot on the heels of Romney, wealth wise. About $100 million of Al’s money is coal money so there’s a connection, the only connection, between Al and me. Thankfully.
Do you know the earth has gone through several ice ages? Do you know we’re in the midst of an ice age now? Simplified, that means the earth cools, the earth warms, the earth cools, the earth warms. According to this site, we’re had 5 ice ages so it rather puts that whole environmental fright in an entirely new light, eh? Like Dave always said, “Where you stand depends on where you sit.”
One more thing about today’s meeting…I met a delightful woman, much older than I, who opened her heart to me when she overheard me telling someone Dave died. She reached across the table, took my hands in hers and wept with me. How unbelievable to meet someone that enormously real; who knows what being a widow is like and did not hesitate to give her heart to another woman in pain. She gave me council…told me life would get better and not just go on. She said, “…don’t discount meeting someone else and re-marrying because to have loved someone as much as you loved your husband, means you have a lot of love to give.” Then she said, “Be sure and get a pre-nup because some “fxxxxxx” would take you for all you’re worth.” I about fell off my chair and almost got whiplash from the eye blinks I was doing! I’m telling you, it was hilarious; this beautiful, and beautifully coiffed, older woman using such language and she never blinked an eye. Too funny!
By my own admission, I usually leave the farm only when I have to leave the farm. I mean, would you leave the above view for sidewalks, street lights, people and traffic? I’m also not crazy about J. Q. Public…s/he tends to annoy me and it’s not good to annoy me. It makes both our lives poorer for the experience. Anyway, for the past “while”, every time I go into a store, upon exiting, they ask for money. “Would you like to donate $1 to xxxxx today?” “Actually, no, I would not. I have places to which I give charitable donations and your charity is not on my list.” No, of course that’s not what I say, but it’s what I think. What I say is, “Not today, thanks.” One day I counted it up…if I would have given a dollar every time I was asked, that would have been $9 that day alone. Is it the money? Yes, actually it is the money. It’s also because I like to research charities and see how much they use for salaries, administration, publicity, asking for money, housing, utilities, etc.
Yes, it is my right to make a judgement call because it’s my money. I try to be a good steward and sometimes that means saying No. A wise person said, the only people who don’t pay attention to their money are the people who have no money to give their attention.
Christmas is coming, less than three months, so there are a few places to check when money requests appear. Charity Navigator and Charity Watch are two places to check and always remember, it’s your money so it’s perfectly all right to make a judgement. Actually, it’s expected you make wise decisions regarding your money. It’s part of the responsibility of giving money, making wise decisions.
Since Dave died, it seems the vast majority of people who contact me want something. I’m sure they feel they all have good reasons for wanting me to do…or give…or donate…or, or…whatever but the answer is still no. Someone wanted to come tour the farm and I explained my husband died and the farm was closed to tourism. This person said, “So, is that permanent or what?” Did they mean Dave or the tours, I wonder?
Another person wanted to tour my home. I said, “No, it’s not a good time for me”. They said, “But….” and had a string of reasons why I should do what they wanted me to do and when I said “No, it’s not happening” this person began to bully me. I finally said, “NO” and hung up. Frankly, I don’t have to give a reason…no is perfectly acceptable and, no, I really don’t care what you think of me. Like I always told Dave, “I care enormously those opinions of people I respect; the others, not so much.”
To the folks who make anonymous comments on my blog…go away. If you don’t have the courage to stand behind your mouth…you’re not allowed to comment. I’m tired of folks leaving comments when they disagree with what I write and leaving no way for me to respond, other than here. Hey YOU! News flash…it’s not your blog but it is my rules. My new rule is…no anonymous comments. Those who are respectful, courteous dissenters are welcome but I’ve had it with rude people. GO AWAY or get some manners! You’re not welcome here and you’re not allowed to comment here. Capice?
Told you I was feeling irascible. grin
Blessings ~ Miz Sarah ~ charities of my choosing ~ the view from all my windows ~
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FlowerLady Lorraine says
What a great post! We have to learn to say no to others or we will be overrun and become broke.
How wonderful that that dear lady comforted you and understood your loss so deeply. She was quite the character and God sent her your way.
Thank you for speaking your mind and blessing and encouraging others with your words.
FlowerLady
Sandra Bennett says
Mildred, God works in mysterious ways and I'm enjoying using the word "no".
TL, around here the VFD collects for themselves…we have a very small budget for equipment, uniforms, etc. You and I donate to some of the same, worthy, places.
Annie, just now getting autumnal colors so will post soon.
Donna, looters will have to take it from me by force and I'm armed.
Alice, and so was that woman for me; such a blessing.
Lee, I do like "my blog, my rules" and am weary of folks who intrude on my space and time. Don't get me started on FB…what a time suck and people are just waiting to be testy and mean.
Gretchen, good manners are definitely on the decline and we're all the losers.
Sparky, might just be -grin-, it'd make me happy.
LindaSue, yep, fed up with the idiots! They might be with me as well -grin.
Becky, wouldn't doubt if for a second and it'd make me happy.
MK, didn't use your line but it's not above me -grin.
Gretchen, my problem is I can usually think of smart aleck responses and then do…resulting in hurt feelings.
Donna, loved everything your wrote! I don't know how to not allow anonymous comments…?
Madge, I do not like pan handlers and, in Richmond, VA, they have a Board…President, VP and Secretary. They take turns on the "best" street corners!
Sue, I am knitting but not keeping calm…so much -grin.
Jody, there are almost no manners any more and some people confuse manners with flirting.
Leonora, love it…cabeesh!
Debbert, you are so kind, thank you.
Debbert says
Sandra, I love your posts. You are always right on spot.
Leonora says
Ha! I love your spunk!
In my Italian family we say, "Cabeesh".
Gumbo Lily says
This whole post made me grin. I have a child's book, Golden Bookf Of Manners that I read to my grandkids all the time at their request. One of the lines I cherish, "Manners make you nice to know. Good manners make you think of other people…" Wouldn't it be nice if everyone had manners?
Sue McPeak says
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Sue McPeak says
Write On!!!! It will soon be time for 'Keep Calm and Knit On'. I'll see ya on Ravelry…I'm ready to knit a scarf or two and maybe finish the socks from four years ago.
Sometimes 'Old Gals' gotta have more guts than cents…you tell em'…like your 'delightful friend'…great story!
Anonymous says
GOOD for you! The last two times I was approached by panhandlers, I told them 'I work for my money, go get a job!' As to the other ladies advise, she was probably right about a pre-nup what a hoot!
Donna says
P.S. I disallowed anonymous comments in the blogger settings quite a while ago. You might want to do that too. There is no reason for you to put up with their nonsense.
Donna says
Al Gore – don't get me started. The guy is a raving lunatic & a jack###. 'Nuf said about him.
How wonderful that you met a woman who showed you compassion and also made you laugh. That tale sure game me a smile.
And I agree with you that the constant barrage of charity requests is tiring. It seems like I get hit up for a donation for something or other every time I go to the grocery store. I don't even blink when I say my "no, thank you." I have my special charities – Salvation Army, St. Jude Hospital, and Paws for a Cause. And I don't think I'll be adding to the list anytime soon.
And the people that want to impose upon you for tours? One "no" should be sufficient. If they are rude enough to persist, then you ought to show them no mercy.
GretchenJoanna says
haha M.K. about what Sandra might have said to the tour-requester…(Sandra, *did* you say that?) I never can think of these reasonable responses at the right moment…
M.K. says
Hiya, Irascible friend! 😉 I enjoyed this most. I'm not glad you get assaulted by rude people, but I enjoy how you handle it. That phone call!! I mean, REALLY? "You must let me come tour your home?" Give me break. I'd be tempted to say, "When YOU'RE paying the mortgage, you can decide when you get to come." Bleh.
I had never thought about Gore's money being oil money, but you're absolutely right. Wee bit inconsistent there, yes? Money like that certainly causes many people to lose their convictions.
Becky says
You go girl! I still say our family tree intertwines back there somewhere! 🙂
LindaSue says
Oh Friend – you crack me up this morning – irascible huh? Sounds more like fed up with the idjits! Delighted the woman with a huge heart gave you such good advice – I also said for a while after my darling died – never again. Well how does that mesh with "thy will be done" – so I'm staying open to the unlikely possibility there are Christian men in my age group who aren't looking for a young hot chick – would be happy with an intelligent, lotsa milage, old hot chick! LOL – I make myself laugh
rant on dear friend – it IS your blog so if you need to vent – open da doors and let 'er rip!
Sparky says
Are we related? 'Cause we sure sound alike! 🙂 I'm so happy you met a nice lady that could help with the grieving. God reaches out to us in mysterious ways, sometimes. I always feel so lame trying to comfort someone. Just know in your heart, that most all of us here do care about you very much. And you DO have a lot of love, and wisdom, to give! Don't be afraid to feel happy again. Hope that sounds loving 'cause I mean it that way. And I don't give to charities anymore except the ones I know are doing good. One never knows where that money goes to or if it's really helping. I think it's better to see someone on the street and help them according to how Jesus guides us. That's REAL. 🙂
And as Gretchen stated said so well above, good manners are on the decline. I suspect it's because of modern technology. It's easy to be cruel and remain anonymous on the internet now. Words hurt just like a fist in the face though. I try to watch my tongue too 'cause I don't want to "kill" anybody. Harsh words can kill a person emotionally, you know. Not nice.
I don't allow Anonymous comments either. They're almost always a troll.
Luv ~:)
GretchenJoanna says
Good manners are definitely on the decline, which is bad news for morals. I've read a lot about how manners are a strong support for morals…of course, we know everything in that dept. is on a downturn, at least in the last century.
Lee says
You are a woman after my own heart, and I love your irascibility today 🙂 For the longest time on my blog, right above the comments I had "my blog, my rules" but I don't get a lot of comments so I finally removed it thinking maybe it was scaring too many away…hah, didn't change the numbers. And just today, on my 'real me' (I'm a blogger that doesn't use real names) facebook page, I had a friend (relative by marriage) unfriend because she didn't like my comments on MY OWN wall…and on top of that, she'd misunderstood my original post anyway. I too prefer to choose who or where my charitable giving goes without being coerced outside of stores, in stores at the checkout, or via the phone and THAT makes me irascible. {{{hugs}}}
Alices Wonderland says
Sometimes its such a relief and seems to take the weight off our hearts(even just for a moment) when we find someone who truly understands our story and is so willing to share their story.
Brynwood Needleworks says
We have entered the age of "Producers" and "Looters"….Those who work for a living and those who think they're entitled simply by the "need". I'm glad you say "no".
We think a lot alike, my friend.
God Bless…
xo
Donna
annie says
How very loving of her to do that, I'm thankful she was there for you! Good for you in saying "no". I believe in that, most times that is what I say, once in a blue moon they will get my dollar, depending on who they are & what they are after. I had no anonymous comments almost from day one, it saves a lot of headaches, and mean mouthiness from opinionated know it alls. Have a great weekend. Just lovin' this weather. Do you have any fall foliage photos of your farm you could post here? You can tell me "no" I won't be mad at you. God Bless!
Tombstone Livestock says
Glad someone else has no problem to saying no. I have stopped sending money for address labels, never have sent money to some of them, I have enough if I never move again to last me 5 lifetimes, can't stick those things on email.
Whenever I am in the grocery store and they want me to donate a dollar and put my name on it so they can post a hand, shoe or heart on their wall I say no, it costs money to print those things if only a few cents.
The ones I donate to are the firefighters with their fill the boot that stand on street corners collecting for burn victims. The one day a year when volunteers stand at the intersections to collect for Children's Hospital and the Salvation Army bell ringers at least get my loose change.
But lately everyone has their hand out. Even bloggers have donation buttons and now there is a site called "gofundme" where people can put up their sob story and hope people will donate money to them. Many just need to change their lifestyle and live within their means.
Anonymous says
I love that God placed the very real and candid woman in your path today. For her to reach across and take your hands and to really be compassionate about your loss of Dave must have been welcome.
Good for you telling folks NO, and not feeling compelled to give a reason why. I am learning that lately too!