PARAPROSDOKIANS

Winston Churchill is said to have thoroughly enjoyed paraprosdokians.
Say WHAT!? 
Henny Youngman was a master; remember, “Take my wife…please!” or Groucho Marx, “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening…but this wasn’t it!” P. G. Wodehouse is always a favorite. “She looked as though she’s been poured into her clothes and forgot to say ‘when’.” 
For those who know I cannot let black humor pass, there’s this one by Emo Philips, “I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don’t know I use blanks.” 
Another by Winston Churchill supposedly about Clement Attlee, “A modest man, who has much to be modest about.”
Not sure who said these, but some are really funny:
*If there’s a will, I want to be in it.
*War doesn’t determine who is right. Only who is left.
*To steal from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
*I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
*I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted a paycheck.
*The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s on my list.
*I used to be indecisive. Now, I’m not so sure.
*Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
*You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

Blessings ~ paraprosdokians ~ humor ~ humorists ~ another beautiful day ~